i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
