Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
