now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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