I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Randomize
