You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
