Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
