why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You ruined the universe
Randomize
