oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
