I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
