Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
