Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
