I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
