Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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