he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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