As long as you're not dating white guys again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
