I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
