I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I will pee on everything he values.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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