Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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