it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
