It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
