Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
