I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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