i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
