He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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