I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
