Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
