I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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