I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need water and some morals
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