i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
