Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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