I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
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