My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
