just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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