God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
