i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
