Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
