Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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