How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
That's when you crack a 10am beer
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
