is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
