Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
