Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They took my balls.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
