I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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