About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
