Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
