One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
