Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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