Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
