Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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