i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
