Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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