Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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