You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
